Hopeful

It's been a fairly uneventful Saturday. Gloomy weather, a trip out for provisions, tidying Joe's room in preparation for him to spend his first night in there (that alone makes me feel a bit anxious).

We had a bit of a wander this afternoon. There's a nature reserve five minutes' walk from the house and although there are lots of native trees there are no wildflowers at all yet. I spotted some leaves poking through - wild garlic and bluebells. I had wild garlic at my old house and it completely took over every bit of the garden and the woods next to the house. So be warned if you're thinking of planting some.

Most of the weekend so far has been spent worrying. Without going into too many details, my maternity allowance runs out in early May. Jobs are proving very difficult to come by (despite looking hard and spending hours filling in application forms). Childcare is expensive. I'm looking for part time work but a bit of research suggests it may end up costing more to go back to work - in terms of nursery fees and travelling - than staying at home with no income at all.

I'm trying my best to stay positive. Surely something will come up soon. I just keep telling myself that sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down. And that if I need a song to be stuck in my head right now, it's Frank Sinatra singing That's Life.